is english really this hard?

[22:25] <him> sorry to disturb you again, however I've been trying out the program on various images and all that's appearing is the garbled stuff instead of an image. am I missing something here?
[22:26] <me> how have you been trying to get the files?
[22:27] <him> quite a few minutes. basically small files that would easy downloads.
[22:28] <me> no...what have you been doing to try and download?
[22:28] <him> oh small pictures, jpegs, gifs, etc.
[22:29] <me> nonono...
[22:29] <me> what have you been clicking on to start the downloads

Tech Call Blues

Me: Okay, what makes you think you have a virus, ma'am?

Them: Well, I'm not *sure*...but I did get an email with one of those .zip files you warned us customers about.

Me: Ah, yes. If you're unsure of who sent it, and even if it looks like someone you know, but you weren't expecting anything, I would NOT open that attachment. Just delete the email and empty the Deleted Items folder.

Them: .......

Me: You didn't open the attachment, did you?

Them: ...would I be in trouble if I said, 'yes'?

5 Ways Users Make Tech Calls A Living Hell

1) Not being anywhere near the computer when they call. This is a common problem and a major pain in the tokus. Especially when the issue requires checking information on the computer such as DNS numbers, the Phone number it's trying to dial or Mail Server entries in Outlook Express. Folks, if you're calling me from Work, and your computer is at HOME.... I. Can't. Help. You.

2) Computer is not turned on. This is a major pet peeve of mine. People call me up and want to to help them figure out a problem, and of course, they don't even have their computer turned on. Some believe that they can't use the phone when the computer is powered on for SOME reason that I can only figure originates from once having picked up the phone while they were online and hearing that screaching coming from receiver. From that point forward, I can only imagine that every time they want to make a phone call, they have to shut down their computer thinking that's how it works. *sigh* Well, I have to go through the rigamaroll to explain to them that it's okay to have the computer ON...but they don't have to be ONLINE. Big Difference. (You can hear the lightbulbs blinking on with their realization, oy!)

3) Attempting to use computer jargon of which they have NO CLUE of it's meaning. Nothing can make a tech call go completely south faster than a user who thinks they understand computer jargon and start throwing out tech words left and right. When a User starts calling a Floppy Disk a "Hard Disk", the Monitor their "CPU", not to mention the Computer Case their "Modem", it just makes any tech call into an Exedrine headache. Folks, KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS! Installing a program is not called "uploading", your Operating System is not called Internet Explorer or Outlook Express, and there never was a Windows 97, Windows 96, or 2000 XP.

4) Screaming "HEEEEELLPP!!!" right off the bat Folks, we know you need help. That's what we do. That's why people call us. We know this. We accept this as our reason for employment. If you didn't need help, you wouldn't be calling us, right? Please don't start off your tech call with such an inane thing as screaming "HELP!" into our already sore and tired ears.

5) Arguing with us. Stop. Just stop it already. When you call us for help, we diagnose your problem and suggest a solution. Just humor us. Try it. DO NOT come back with a snide or crude comment about having tried that already, or saying "That's not correct...". Look, if you didn't want out help, THEN DON'T CALL US! The last thing we want to do is get into a pissing match over right or wrong answers. This is Tech Support. We try different things in order to find the solution. The only thing your interjecting and arguing with us will do is serve to piss us off and make all of us very unhappy.

There's more than just these 5...but as they say, "Small Doses".... Keep tuning in for more.

Stupid Computer Tricks

In the last 30 days, the Repair Dept. of the ISP I work for has gotten 350 computers in for repair (of them, only 4 were Macs). We get them for all kinds of repair issues, such as hardware problems, software problems, format & reinstalls, viruses & worms, and the ever wonderful 'Misc'. People don't generally get to see what we have to deal with on a daily basis. Thanks to Rod Shelley, you can see some classic repair nightmares. From personal experience, I can say that some of them are rare...but some sadly are not.

ID10T paridise

a few years ago techtv had mail server problems so the owner of the techtv yahoo group let them use it for their newsletters for a while and now that techtv is pretty much dead, the owner decided to make it a discussion list to talk about the demise of the network. Now there are people that don't remember signing up and can't read the little message on the bottom of each email so they're raising hell. It's so very amusing. It's over at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/techtv/messages if you'd like to see.

working among the ID Ten-Ts

This is a blog of my experiences at work doing desktop PC support. Through my job I encounter a ton of ID 10-T errors, and this will be my attempt to relieve frustrations by documenting some of them. Names will be left out for the safety of my job, but the experiences will be true. I hope this can bring some amusement to people reading it through my suffering. :)